


I found you in another

by thesetemplebones



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Feels, Bisexual Female Character, Canon Lesbian Character, F/F, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2019-02-14 15:57:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13011171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesetemplebones/pseuds/thesetemplebones
Summary: The guilty feeling at the pit of her stomach drove her into the forest, because Octavia knew, the other girl did nothing wrong, she needed space away from her. Octavia firmly believed that saying “I have a scouting mission in the morning”, sounds a lot better than, “no offense but I need to be away from you” and it eased her guilty conscious slightly.





	I found you in another

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! Forgive me for any mistakes that I missed when I edited this. I've had this idea stuck in my mind for awhile and I had to write it out so here it is.
> 
> No matter what I didn't think I wrote this out well enough. :/
> 
> Hope you all enjoy either way! :)

**“ _G_** **_od knows I didn’t mean to fall in love with her.”_ ** **-Ernest Hemingway**

**O** fficially, Octavia was out scouting the terrain, nothing out of the ordinary. Off the record: Octavia felt like she was suffocating beneath the floorboards of the Ark again and she needed space. Before the rest of the village was even up, Octavia had mounted Helios and was disappearing into the forest on this so called ‘scouting mission’. When she got to the edge of the forest Octavia’s hairs on her neck stood up and by the chills that ran down her spine, she knew that it _her._ She refused to look back and she squared her shoulders while clenching her jaw, _I’m on a mission. Focus._ The guilty feeling at the pit of her stomach drove her into the forest, because Octavia knew, the other girl did nothing wrong, she needed space away from _her._ Octavia firmly believed that saying “I have a scouting mission in the morning”, sounds a lot better than, “no offense but I need to be away from you” and it eased her guilty conscious slightly.

            So, with the shadow of the dawn behind her, she directed Helios straight into the forest without a single glance back. It was the first week of March and that year’s snow fall was beginning to melt. There was still a chill in the air, Octavia could see her breath, but it still felt like a heat weave compared to winter’s. The only ones that didn’t flinch at winter’s bite were members of the Azgeda, Ice Nation.

            As Helios took in the new smells that came with the melt, Octavia allowed herself a moment to breathe in the fresh, crisp air; winter was at its end and spring was closing in on the horizon. It was rare for her to have moments to herself, away from the leader business, not as _heda._ Octavia doesn’t know how Lexa handled it all, having her every move being watched and judged.

            This though, Octavia breathed in and listened to the birds’ chirp, this moment was hers alone. Just like _she_ was hers alone, she treasured her moments with Talia. Unfortunately, these memories are in danger of being just that – memories. People were beginning to wonder what their heda’s relationship was with a common healer. Before Octavia, not many people gave much thought to Talia, the young woman who was a gifted healer and one of the best tracker’s Octavia has ever known. She knew that her brother, Clarke, Kane and the rest had questions of their own. It was to be expected considering what happened to _Lincoln_.

            Lincoln. Octavia traced her fingers along the length of her arm, being able to picture the lines of her tattoo beneath the leather. Not only did she carry him in her heart, but she also bared his mark. She blinked back the tears in her eyes and squeezed her thighs against Helios, “walk.”

* * *

 

            Octavia hadn’t been looking for anything when suddenly, Talia appeared in her life. She can’t remember the circumstances, but Talia had come to assist Clarke and her mother when the Sky people, they were _never_ her people, had an outbreak of the flu of some kind. Bellamy had sent her to the medical bay to get checked on and Talia was the one available. Had she known that everything would change in that moment, she would have paid more attention. She would remember every detail so that maybe, just maybe, she would be able to figure out when it was that Octavia had let Talia in without realizing.

            She noticed the concerned look shared between Bellamy and Clarke shared every time Talia is around her or someone mentions her name. She could see the look of complete understanding in Clarke’s eyes and she wished that she could talk to Clarke about everything. Clarke had fallen in love with Lexa and although she loved Lincoln with every breathe she took, Octavia had a feeling that Clarke could empathize with her; Talia was different in every possible way.

            “Whoa,” Octavia pulled on Helios’ reins gently and straightened her shoulders as she listened to the forest sounds. “Steady boy, steady.”

            A small smile formed on her face as she heard the faint sound of a stream not too far away. It was faint, but she could hear the clear sound of the water trickling and she was quick to move toward it. The stream was a concrete sign that spring really was on its way, everything was going through a thaw. The sound of the stream also made her think about Talia. When she finally came upon the stream that was flowing freely with a strong current through the forest, the water running over the rocks with the snow surrounding it made her make a mental note to herself to bring Talia here.

            There was a snap of a twig behind Octavia and she rose from her kneeling position beside the stream, turning to look back toward the forest. Helios wasn’t making much of a fuss, so she knew that whoever it was friend not foe. It was another minute before Indra appeared from out between the trees. She gestured to the stream behind her as the other woman approached her, “things are thawing out quickly. It will not be long before spring is fully here.”

            Indra nodded but kept her focused-on Octavia. She noticed the way Indra was looking at her and she quickly shook her head, turning back to the stream. “Indra.”

            “There are whispers.”

            “Let people whisper,” Octavia replied and knelt beside the stream, reaching her hand out and skimmed the tip of her fingers across the water. “There will always be whispers. I’m used to it.”

            “And Talia?” Indra questioned.

            Octavia stilled her movements and leaned toward the woman, “what about her? Has someone said something?” She watched her from the corner of her eye.

            “It is me,” Indra’s voice was soft, and she was closer. “It’s only me.”

            “I don’t know what you want me to say Indra,” Octavia relaxed and continued playing with the water. “Tavia is someone… _close_ to me.”

            Indra sighed, “I can understand, after Lincoln-.”

            “It’s not just Lincoln,” she shot up off the ground and spun around to face the older woman. “Or don’t you remember Lexa?” Octavia saw the dark-skinned woman flinch and she felt as though someone had her heart in their palm and were squeezing it between their fingers. “I had thought that I died the day Pike put a bullet through Lincoln’s brain. Talia somehow made me realize that only half of me died that day.” She could feel tears welling up in her eyes as she looked at Indra, “Bellamy was being over protective as usual and sent me to med bay. She checked me over that’s it and now,” she shook her head, “before I knew it Talia had a place in my heart.”

            “You are not betraying Lincoln by being in love with another,” Indra said. “He would be happy that you had found someone.”

            Octavia nodded. She knew that Lincoln would want her to be happy and she didn’t feel guilty about her feelings for Talia. She just had a hard time admitting it to herself.

            “Indra,” Octavia forced her body to remain still even though her whole body had begun to shake. “Admitting it would mean that everything was real, that _she_ was real, and-and I can’t. If it’s real than that means it could be taken from me.” Octavia couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. “I’m in love with Talia and it _terrifies_ me.”

            Flashes of Lincoln kneeling in the mud and Lexa’s dead body appeared in her mind and Indra wasted no time in wrapping her arms around her. Octavia clung to Indra, like that of a child to their mother and she hide her face in her shoulder. She knew that she was safe here, Indra wouldn’t judge her. Indra believed in Octavia and believed that it was right for Octavia to be the new _heda._

 _Lexa would approve,_ Clarke had told her.

            It was Talia’s voice that she heard in her mind when she doubted herself. _You are a survivor, Octavia Blake. You have star dust in your veins._

As the snow melted away, Octavia’s denial melted with it. Her heart was made bare and she could no longer ignore what she was feeling. The scouting mission had paid off after all; Octavia had looked over the lay of the land and saw that with spring, there was promise. A chance at a new beginning.

            She may not have chosen Talia but that didn’t mean that she didn’t want her. Octavia didn’t feel like she was suffocating when she was with her, with Talia she felt stronger and at peace.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! (:


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